Will It Be Enough?

keys on a ringRetirement decisions still furrow my brow and clench my stomach.  How much in savings, assents, and retirement funds will be enough to live through retirement?  How much will we need?  How will we know that we have enough to take the step into retired living?

Retired friends urge me not to wait.  Do it now, they say.  Most of them come from a different generation. Their professions provided defined-benefits–some with COLAs.  They bought their homes early enough and rode the housing bubble high enough to pay off their homes with significant equity before they retired.

My generation bought homes later and saw equity shrink.  Our retirement plans are on the 401k model.  They rise and fall with the whims of Wall Street.  And despite politicians’ blind faith in “free markets,” I hardly trust Wall Street to give a damn whether I end up dying naked in an alley or dying comfortably in a “mature adult” community.  Continue reading

Desire to be Desired

old body figureI’ve been in this relationship nearly 30 years now. But I still check out the good looking men I see on my train ride and walk to the office each day. I fantasize about a little encounter. Would my Gay Old Soulmate object?  Maybe he’d be thrilled to see me actually try something interesting and a little risky for a change.

I’m at the age where I could use a novel adventure. But being “at the age” is just the problem. Continue reading