Cardinal Directions

Man hugging anotherWhere I grew up
roads ran strictly
north and south,
east and west.
Houses had cardinal directions.
I don’t live there anymore.
After twenty years
in this same house,
I walked out this morning
wondering why, here,
the sun rises in the northwest.

Where I grew up
boys dated girls
men married women.
Sex had cardinal directions.
I don’t live there anymore.
After sixty years
in this same flesh,
I walk into a man’s arms
still surprised that, here,
desire rises in the right direction.

Lazarus

LazarusI have become an old man—despite it all.  My sisters have long since passed.  And sometimes the miracle seems like a curse.  How long must the “magic” last?  Will I ever enter the valley of the shadow again?  As long ago as it is, I remember those days.  Younger folk have learned, to their regret, that if they give me any excuse, I’ll retell the stories in excruciating detail.  Like that last Sunday before everything fell apart—or seemed to.

He didn’t say he was running from the law when he showed up.  But we knew. Even if I hadn’t owed him my life, we would have taken him in.  We had loved each other long before that. Continue reading

Queer Brother to a Prodigal Son

(compare Luke 15:11-32)

Lone tree with personGrowing up,
I was the good one:
choir, Torah study, youth group, prayers;
more confident in righteousness
than Paul in the flesh.

At home, too.
Chores:
did I ever complain?
Hated farming and dutifully trudged
to the south forty.

He skipped off to the creek;
thought Dad couldn’t smell
bottles buried under
camouflaging newspaper
in the trash.

Mostly, he was a real man;
Continue reading

At Sixty

Age 60“Then afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh;
your sons and daughters shall prophesy,
your elders shall dream dreams,
and your young people shall see visions.”Joel 2:28

Now I am ready to dream.  To rise out of visions.  To move beyond prophesy.  To live a colorful new reality.

When I was young, inching toward a door I did not recognize as the inside of a closet, I had visions.  Visions of a young preacher going home to Kansas.  Urban ministry was the cutting edge, or overseas development.  I would minister to the rural forgotten.  It turned out another way.. Continue reading

Sometimes

Hands in prayerSometimes, when we pray in church
sitting
with hands neatly folded
in our laps,
I want to kneel.

Sometimes, I want to raise my hands
and sing off-the-wall praise songs
—maybe even with a band.

But mine is a generous faith
that knows God embraces Muslims
and Jews and Buddhists
(without converting)
and finds it perfectly reasonable for
atheists to join a community of believers
Continue reading