Four Themes in Gay Old Soul Living

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As I become more and more a gay old soul, life’s challenges fall roughly into four themes: spirit, body, relationship, resources.

Candles

Spirit

After I first came out we dreamed of a fairy godbrother circle.  A sort of gay spiritual order with its own spiritual discipline to weekly:

  • Perform one action to nurture one’s growth
  • Perform one action to promote justice for others
  • Perform one action that is outrageously gay.

This was back when we were still illegal and fighting the good fight for freedom.  And we still find ourselves exploring the meaning our lives and living provide us and each other.  And we continue to delve into the transcendent dimensions of queer life and living.

body drawing

Body

Once upon a time, gay was sexuality and bodies were mostly about that.  Age does not diminish desire; though in some cases it limits endurance and/or performance.  I look in the mirror and see an aging body with aging skin and parts that have too often been the subject of medical intervention.  I still want to explore that body.  Feel it next to other men’s bodies,  Feel its muscles exercise and its energies wax and wane in natural rhythms.  I want to embrace my carnal potential and limitations both.

dancing men

Relationship

I am in a relationship.  I am in relationships.  After 29 years, my gay old soul mate and I are pretty good at this, if I say so myself.  And still we have room for improvement.  We grow closer and love each other more—though we never vowed “’til death do us part.”  Only to seek each other’s growth and to love each other.  And as we age, we become more and more aware of our need for community.  For a larger context to our living together and as individuals.  Sometimes we dream of a sort of “Golden Girls” model of living into our senior years.  A queer household.  Golden Gays.

bowl

Resources

The amount of money and type of resources required to retire occupy more and more of our conversations.  We know we have resources to retire now.  But can we retire well?  Will we have enough to live comfortably, and travel a bit.  To relax about the kinds of costs (medical loom large) that face older gay men?  Will working a bit lay a better foundation?  Or will it just rob us of the years when we can most enjoy our spirits, bodies, and relationships?

 

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