Sometimes, when we pray in church
sitting
with hands neatly folded
in our laps,
I want to kneel.

Sometimes, I want to raise my hands
and sing off-the-wall praise songs
—maybe even with a band.

But mine is a generous faith
that knows God embraces Muslims
and Jews and Buddhists
(without converting)
and finds it perfectly reasonable for
atheists to join a community of believers
some of whom believe in God
but pretty much think Jesus
was an extraordinary guy
who is still dead in the ground.

That doesn’t bother me
although I once met Jesus
crossing a lawn,
feel him close on my walk to the train,
and talk with him rather frequently.

I don’t need my brothers and sisters to know him that way
or even understand how I do
to be church together.

I’m more than happy to queerly admit
to those he leaves cold
that I dream of Jesus
as a fabulous Lover.

So why do I worry
that other people with a generous faith
(they call us liberals)
will look askance if

I kneel when we pray
and raise my hands
when we sing a song
we won’t call a praise song
even though
it feels like one.